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Another season of school has started and I don’t know about you, but I have parent-teacher conferences this week. This event may bring joy or dread to each of us. The first quarter is over and it’s time to check and see if our son has really done his homework. His report card and teachers will tell us.
I think the new school year is a good time to look at our goals for the year. But not for our kids. Husbands and wives should sit down and think about the school year and goals they have for their own marriage. Sometimes we put our mom and dad hats on more often than we do our Husband and Wife hats. Most likely you were husband-and-wife first before you were mom and dad (although I know that’s not always the case). So as you help your child to pass math this year, or to make the basketball team, ask yourself these questions:
- How much time do I devote my spouse?
- What resources will I use? Books, online ministries, or weekend getaway marriage retreat?
- How much money will I spend on my spouse?
- How long will I practice doing what I need to do to improve my marriage?
- How will I track my progress or keep myself accountable?
- After God, is my husband my priority?
I encourage husbands and wives to apply some of the same principles they do to their kids to their own marriage. Think about it. We encourage Johnny to practice the piano, shoot free throws, or to do more math problems in order to improve. So why not apply that to ourselves? I encourage you to give yourselves a report card for the first quarter.
How am I communicating? Am I being a good listener? Do I talk too much? Or not enough? How am I doing with resolving our disagreements? We all know it takes two to tango and also two to fight. It also takes two to make up. You are not responsible for your spouse’s actions or words, so just concentrate on your own attitude and behavior. That alone will save you a lot of heartache and frustration.
We often buy our kids new clothes for school. How about new clothes for your marriage? But these clothes are not from Target or JC Penney. These clothes come from God:
1 Peter 5:5-6: “Likewise, you who are younger, clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble”.
Col. 3:12-13: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
What about your shoes? What’s on your feet? Isaiah 52:7 “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.” Am I bringing peace, good news, happiness to my husband?
I know I need God’s help and strength to be a godly wife. There’s no way I can do it on my own. So, as you look over your child’s report card this quarter, give your husband a ‘heads up’ that you’d like to check your marital status in a few days. Then sit down and share the good grades first and then the “needs improvement” areas. Commit to do one small thing to improve in one area. End it with prayer and something fun!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Pam Bass is a wife, mom, and licensed Christian counselor, who has helped hundreds of people over the last 23 years. She desires wives especially to be cognizant of the way the American culture can influence our stated Christian values. Through her blog, she hopes to encourage women (in particular) to know and trust what God tells us in His word. Find out more at www.pambass.com
