A
t my mom’s house with my aunt, I asked for a little help as I struggled with writer’s block. Here’s the conversation:
“Either of you have any ideas of what I should write about for my next stay-at-home-mom blog?”
“You could write about how husbands don’t appreciate stay-at-home mom’s and don’t appreciate everything they do.” My mom offers.
“No way, I can’t write that! It’s not true in my house. Dennis appreciates everything I do. Just the other day I was complaining that I have not contributed financially to the house and he said I definitely contribute to the house, just not with pay. He helps me around the house and with the kids. He always says thank you for everything even the little stuff. We both do.”
“Well, there is your next blog Dri. Your uncle and I always appreciate each other and say thank you too.” My aunt added.
There you have it, that’s where I find my writing magic. I pick other people’s brains and manage to find something worthy of writing. Thankful is a fitting topic for November, the house of Thanksgiving. While I will always be grateful for my country, my husband is my rock and an amazing person. No, this blog is not going to be a brag book for my favorite man, but it could be. What I want to talk to you about today is why appreciating your spouse is so important. Here is our secret to a successful marriage.
- Always say thank you for everything. When Dennis makes me coffee, I always say thank you. When he fills my gas tank, sweeps the floor, remembers to check the kid’s homework when I forget, I thank him. He does the same. Something so simple has made a world of difference in our marriage. We both feel wanted and needed. This is not something you should ever stop, because if you do stop, you will always wonder if the appreciation is there. No appreciation equals bad feelings and animosity.
- Notice the little things. Another way to keep the appreciation alive inside of a union is to see the little things. My hubby never leaves the toilet seat up. Never. Because this is such a cliche action by so many men, I always notice. When he makes the bed in the morning, I acknowledge. When he lets me watch another re-run of Gilmore Girls instead of watching Top Gear, I notice. When you notice you appreciate, when you appreciate you are thankful.
- Have perspective. I always sort problems into man problems and Dennis problems. I expect him to have a similar list because some problems just can’t be combatted. Some problems just need to be accepted. So, when I get emotional for no reason at all, I expect Dennis to chalk this up to women problem. But when I leave my shoes all over the house, and he talks to me about it, that’s an Adrina problem not typical of all women. The same for him, when he waits until Christmas Eve to do his shopping for me, I don’t flip out, but if he folds his clothes before putting them in the basket and I can’t tell if they are clean or dirty, that I fight. Just toss them in, I do not need help being confused.
- Always disagree about the children away from the children. Never ever make your spouse the bad cop or let them do it to you either. If you disagree about something concerning the children, go into another room to argue so when you are in front of the little ones you show a united front. To do otherwise would be not to appreciate your spouse’s stance with the children.
- Say I love you often. Yes, your hubby knows you love him, but telling him often will keep him knowing. Going to bed with an I love you and waking up to an I love you is one of the greatest treasures of my life. It’s simply a conduit to keep the love flowing openly. Hearing I love you never gets old and always makes me thankful there is someone out there who loves me because I am me.
There will probably be another blog in the future about advice concerning marriage, but these are the keys to success. If you stop speaking the words out loud, at some point, you could stop appreciating the amazing things your spouse does for you. Do not fall into this trap, keep the love alive with a spoken word.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Adrina Palmer is a stay-at-home-mom to three wonderful children and a wife to an amazing husband. She has a bachelors degree in Religion from Liberty University and is currently writing her first novel. Adrina is a Christian hoping to help other stay-at-home moms find the joy and simplicity as a mother and wife. In her free time she enjoys many crafts, writing, spending time with family, and reading. She would love to hear from you!